How to love yourself

Make-up, Mental Well Being Blog

Self empowerment, self love! 

Lately I’ve been struggling to write, it’s not necessarily that I had nothing to write about, I have a notepad full of ideas… I thought about my distractions, what had I been so preoccupied with? Yeah I guess I was working a lot, and I’d been watching the World Cup and spending time with my family but these were things that had always been present? So I switched my thought process and asked myself what had I been focusing on and it seemed that Social Media had been taking the majority of my time. I’d been so actively trying to work on my brand and the overall look of my media that I’d fallen into the spiral of perfection. I wanted my profiles to look like I was perfect, that my life was perfect and most importantly that the brand I’m working on was. But in doing this I’d lost the one thing that always made me the happiest, writing? 

So what had gone wrong?

Here’s a few posts when I was trying to improve my look on social media (rose-tinted glasses): 

Here’s a few posts when I just showed me, what my life was really like:

Here I am explaining my anxious thoughts whilst taking a cute selfie…

The I’m outside, reading and writing aren’t I great book

The ‘perfect’ bloggers bedroom- A place for creativity 

mememe

No filter, no bra. Ft Stretch marks and thick thighs

The interactions were significantly different.
Comments:

Perfect: 1

Real: 10

Likes:

Perfect: 57

Real: 116

What I realised was that people appreciate realness, the rawness and honesty that I brought when I admitted that I was curvy, considered a plus sized model in the fashion industry, the fact that I struggled with mental-health problems it didn’t faze people. They seemed to like it more. 


☁️ Social media portrays such perfection, this portrayal is so wrong. Your life, family, friends and yourself the imperfections within them is normal and most importantly quite unique. Those large thighs carry me, the belly that’s not quite perfectly flat is sort of cute and the stretch marks you see they show my journey, how my body marvelously stretched to allow me to become a woman. You’re beautiful. You’re imperfections are beautiful. Be proud, be strong, love yourself ☁️” – @Ellesorbis 


For what I hope to be inspirational and lovely realistic posts follow my social media:

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

After the realisation that my followers and likers responded better to my ‘real’ posts I decided to delve further into this idea what did my posts have in common… they were all about my ‘imperfections’. Whether I was discussing my curvyness or my break outs, the fact that I was struggling to sleep because of the insomnia these posts were all interacted with greatly. I asked myself why? This highlighted to me that the people finding my pictures were using the hashtags I used to target the correct audience and this showed that people were actively looking for ways to accept themselves. Immediately I asked myself why on earth I hadn’t done a blOog post about this! 

I never claim to have the answers for everyone, I don’t even know if one of them will relate to you, these are my ways. I can only hope that they touch a life, or give someone that little push they need. 

My three step guide to loving yourself

  1. Accept your body

Now some people may say to you, it doesn’t matter how you look on the outside, it’s all about the inside. This is so true! Weight and looks do not define your happiness, or your love for yourself. Accepting my body is something I have always struggled with. I was a size 10 and thought I was disgustingly fat, I have been a size 16 and still thought the same. So really what changed? Other than three dress sizes my mental state and how I felt about my self really never changed. My point here is it really didn’t matter what my body looked like, what was going on in the inside took over and blurred my vision. Accept your body, as long as you are healthy that is all that matters. What waist to bum ratio society expects from you is so irrelevant! My weight gain shows that, my depression and anxiety has been just the same with the different dress sizes. 

These pictures are 4 years apart, throughout this 5 years I have suffered equally, the body I’m in doesn’t define my mental state when I’m healthy.  Love yourself, love your body- it can only help.

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2. Look after yourself

When I’m feeling low or I’m not particularly loving myself I have a routine that I tend to do. I’m sure everybody has there own self-care regimes. But I thought if I share mine that perhaps it could assist the developing or finished product you may have: 

I cannot express enough how important it is for me to look after my body. When I feel good on the outside it has a large impact upon my mental well-being. Now I’m not saying that in order to be happy you must look beautiful all the time. However, when your feeling low doing things that actively make you feel better on the outside reflect on the inside.

  • Have a bubbly bath: Just allow yourself to enjoy the water around you, the warmth, the bubbles let them soak you up. I like to grab a favorite book that I’ve already read so that I can enjoy the act of reading whilst not having to focus too much.

 

https://amzn.to/2meBI7aRadox

  • Have a hot shower to wash hair and body: For this I use my favorite products which I don’t use everyday but that I know will leave my hair smelling beautiful and the look will be fuller.

https://amzn.to/2Nbb5vb

 Shampoo.jpg

  • Practice make-up looks: I’ve discussed before how much I love my dupes both for my bank account and the fun of comparing them to the real thing on YouTube. Here’s some of my make-up collection. I get so distracted doing this and it makes me feel great when I achieve a beautiful look. 

make pu.jpg

 

3. Treat yourself like you’re the love of your life

You are the single most important person in your life. Remember if you put yourself and your well being first you’ll be able to treat your nearest and dearest much better. I try and treat myself the way I would treat the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. 

Would you constantly beat down the love of your life?

NO because they are too important and you want the best for them. 

Would you lack confidence in the love of your life?

NO because they are brilliant and you have every confidence in them

Would you see them as anything other than beautiful?

NEVER.

Would you make time for them?

Of course, they mean everything to you right?

Would you do the things that they love to do?

Absolutely that’s what you do for someone you love.

Would you show them support in every aspect of their life?

Yes. 

Treat yourself like the person you love the most. Don’t beat yourself down, don’t lack confidence in yourself, look at yourself and see your beauty whatever form that may come in, make time for you- it’s so important, do what you love and support yourself through everything. 

 

 

 

Guest Blog- Reading is good for the soul…

Mental Well Being Blog, Reading

Meet your guest blogger: 

Hazel

Your guest blogger this week is Hazel. Hazel is an inspirational woman and therefore has been asked to write a blog about reading and how this impacts positively on mental health. She is a teacher in an EBD school, last year she did missionary work in Zambia and also manages to juggle a family of five and two dogs! She loves photography and uses her personal instagram to express this, see link below: 

https://www.instagram.com/cumbrianpurplehaze/

Reading Is Good For The Soul

When I was asked to write a blog with regards to my favourite pastime ‘reading’ I was instantly thrilled, this was very soon followed by that fearsome fiend ‘anxiety’. Questions began circulating my mind: ‘what will I say’, ‘will anyone really want to read it’, ‘am I too old for all this blogging shiz’ and ‘what if someone leaves a negative comment’ and so on and so forth. However, I managed to quell these unwanted thoughts and instead replaced them with images of my amazing daughter, who despite having had (purposely written in the past tense) huge obstacles to overcome is absolutely bossing it, it being life. So instead of shrinking away from this, I will now share with you some of my favourite books and how they have impacted on my personal growth.

“Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body”- Richard Steele 

I love this quote, I’m not one for exercising but can often be found with my head buried deep in a book. Being able to shut out the world and delve into a wonderfully written piece of fiction has got me through some dark days.

~ Broadening my thinking with fiction

My favourite author is an American fiction write called Jodi Picoult. She writes about different societal issues, usually result in a moral versus legal dilemma. Some of the issues she has tacked are teenage suicide, racism, rape, childhood cancer, school shootings and murder. Prior to reading her work these situations seemed very black and white. But after reading her books, often told from numerous characters points of view I am left understanding that there truly is a whole load of murky grey and that the distinction between right and wrong is incredibly difficult to define.

Her work makes me think and question the status quo, she has made me realise that the world and all its inhabitants are gloriously crazy and complex.

jodiiii (2).jpg

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Fave Quote: “that’s the paradox of loss. How can something that’s gone weigh us down so much”- The Storyteller, Jodi Picoult. 

Fave Book: Small, great things. 

~ Channeling my inner child 

My inner child (because we all need to channel that little beauty occasionally) simply adores all things Harry Potter.
As a child I loved Enid Blyton’s work, imagining myself at Malory Towers or on an adventure with the Famous Five.

For me the concept of Harry Potter is that of a modern day Enid Blyton story.
Within those pages you will be taken on a magical, mysterious adventure, you will grow to love the characters, you will join in the fight of good over evil, you will cry and laugh, your imagination will get a fab run out and you will wanted to be one of Harry, Ron and Hermione’s friends. An excellent form of total escapism for me, just what the doctor ordered!

Fave Quote: “You’re a wizard Harry”

Fave Book: The Philosophers Stone

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~ Self help and religion 

There are thousands of books out there that claim to be able to ‘change your life’. At the tender age of 41 I’m yet to find this one special book. This is not to say that this particular genre does not have anything to offer, but for me it is more about broadening my reading and gaining lots of different perspectives.

Whilst I am not a practicing Christian it is hard to not recognise that the ten commandments offer some pretty good rules and morals to live by. Nor I am a Buddhist but their Five Moral Precepts offer a kind and compassionate ideology. Read them all, devour them and take what resonates with you and hold it in your heart.

I do enjoy a good ‘self-help’ book and usually sit with a pen and notepad whilst reading them so that I can sort out the total twaddle from the powerful words. This way I can come back to these words when I need them the most.

Fave quote: “You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with” Wayne Dyer

Fave book: You can heal your life, Louise Hay 

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Perhaps my book blog was not what you were expecting- I didn’t waffle on about the great classics (which I do also enjoy- my faves are To Kill a Mocking Bird and 1984) but instead I chose to be completely honest with you. I’m no book snob- I like what I like. In fact my favourite book of all time is Marley and Me.

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Love Hazel xx

Oh yeah this amazing lady is also my mum…

Image may contain: 2 people, people smiling, close-up

If you’d be interested in guest blogging contact me below:

13 reasons to live…

Mental Well Being Blog

13

Reasons 

You should chose to live!

UK Helpline: 116 123 (Samaritans) 

US Helpline: 0300 304 7000 (SANEline) 

Saudi Arabia Helpline: 112 / 911 (Emergency)

Australia Helpline: 08 9381 5555 (The Samaritans, Subiaco)

China Helpline:   0800-810-1117 (Beijing Suicide Research and Prevention Center Hotline)

Argentina: +5402234930430

Austria: 017133374

Belgium: 106

Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05

Botswana: 3911270

Brazil: 212339191

Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal)

Croatia: 014833888

Denmark: +4570201201

Egypt: 7621602

Estonia: 3726558088; in Russian 3726555688

Finland: 010 195 202

France: 0145394000

Germany: 08001810771

Holland: 09000767

Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000

Hungary: 116123

India: 8888817666

Ireland: +4408457909090

Italy: 800860022

Japan: +810352869090

Mexico: 5255102550

New Zealand: 045861048

Norway: +4781533300

Philippines: 028969191

Poland: 5270000

Portugal: 21 854 07 40/8 . 96 898 21 50

Russia: 0078202577577

Spain: 914590050

South Africa: 0514445691

Sweden: 46317112400

Switzerland: 143

Whatever reason has brought you to read this, be it for yourself or for someone close to you, just taking this amazng step to look can help significantly. The reason I chose to title this 13 reasons to chose to live is in reference to the show that seems to have taken over Netflix. I have watched this series and I do see the benefits this programme brings, it’s highly thought provoking and informative. However, I worry that perhaps it focuses too much on blame! Another question I ask myself is does it provide enough warning measures for people that perhaps may be affected greatly by the intense scenes. Are there enough preventative measures in place on the programme, perhaps the whole idea of the ‘shock factor’ is meant to do that in itself. 

My life has been impacted by suicide. 

When I was 12 I lost my uncle. He had no prior documented mental health issues and was living a very functional life. He was surrounded by people that loved him and had so many people to go to, whether he knew this or not I’ll never know. I loved my uncle like a dad, he was a highly significant part of my life. 

Over the last 7 years I have fought to make peace with his death. It took me a really long time and I miss him every day but I want to channel the sadness and grief that I will always feel into helping prevent others feel that exact grief.

My reason for disclosing this to you is that not only do I want to put the reasons out there as to why you should chose to live; I also want to tell my story of how I decided “just living” isn’t enough.


Dream big, travel far and smile as often you can. 


The Thirteen Reasons 

Reason number 1 

The Sound of Laughter

A baby’s giggle, a child’s laugh or an adults chuckle- they are all pure and beautiful to listen to. Take away the situation and context just focus on that laughter, something that is so pure has got to be a reason right?

Reason number 2 

The 4 Seasons 

Everyone has their favorite season but there’s no denying that each one brings joy in some way… Whether it’s the:

  • Joy you feel when you see the first flower or lamb in spring,
  • warm feeling of sun touching your skin in summer,
  • crunch of autumn leaves under your feat,
  • or the delicate brush of a snowflake on your cheek in winter.

You deserve to experience the uniqueness of each moment year in and year out. The blue sky out of my back garden this morning was beautiful 

Weather.jpg

Reason number 3 

Animals and pets

Whether you consider yourself to be an animal lover or not the sheer happiness that anyone can feel when we watch Marley and Me, Charlotte’s Web, Hachi, War Horse the list is endless. One of the main reasons we enjoy these films are because animals and pets bring us joy. 

Have you ever come home and not had your dog run to you after being at work/school for the day? Watching their little tails wag as though their soul purpose is to wait for you to come home and make you happy. They are completely innocent and full of love. 

Here’s a cute picture of my two puppies… Misha and Sky

Misha and Sky

Reason number 4 

Humans

Now the reason I used the title ‘humans’ is because this is such a non-specific category. You could have a girlfriend, boyfriend, bestfriend, mother, father,  grandparents, cousin, nephew or niece or even a colleague that all want you in their lives. I don’t want to specifically say parents because not everybody has both in their life or sometimes people have neither. My biological father isn’t in my life! I think that even if we have one person in our lives that cares that is one reason worth living! Even if you feel like you have none of the above, you really don’t know the impact that you can have on people’s lives. One day you could  be walking down the street and smile at someone and that could change the whole course of their day? You’re important. Even if you don’t feel like it. 

Reason number 5 

Help others 

Now this is a reason that kept me going for a lot of years. Now remember that looking after your mental health is the number one priority! But once you feel like you’ve gained control over that helping others can be very rewarding. Whether that’s volunteering, positing in a group forum or even writing your own blog you truly could help someone else. I know after the isolation I felt after going through my problems I never wanted anyone to go through that alone! Hence this blog. On all my social media platforms I forever discuss how whether my posts reach 1 or 1000 people doesn’t matter to me, if I can give one person a little help with what they are going through, then that was enough reason for me to stay alive. 

Reason number 6 

Books

Okay, so I’m well aware this reason isn’t for everybody. But for a significant amount of people this is one hell of a reason, including myself. Whether your a book worm now or have been a book lover in the past and have lost your way; just think about the last time you were truly engrossed in a book. Time loses meaning and reality fades, at the moment all that exists is the characters and the story and I feel like that is truly something special. If you ever start to question your existence trace your mind back to the last time you felt real emotion from words on a page. It can be quite powerful! 

My favorite series of books when I was younger was The Twilight Saga, I must have read them 100 times. My favorite book as an adult has to be Wuthering Heights! 

Reason number 7

Nature

Whether you are an avid walker, a outdoors enthusiast or someone who prefers to just looks out at the hills, rivers, lakes and mountains I think it’s safe to say we can all appreciate beauty. Earth truly is a magnificent place! 

Maroon Bells, USA

“Located only about 10 miles from Aspen, Colorado, the Maroon Bellsare two 14,000-foot peaks in the Elk Mountains that are reflected in crystal-clear Maroon Lake, snuggled in a glacial valley. They are the crown jewels of the Rocky Mountains and by far one of the most photographed scenes in the country.”

Exciting Places to Visit: Victoria Falls, Zambia/Zimbabwe

“Victoria Falls, aptly named Mosi-oa-Tunya – the Smoke that Thunders – by locals is a breathtaking spectacle of incomparable beauty and majesty. The largest water curtain in the world, this enormous waterfall on the Zambezi River on the border between Zambia and Zimbabwe can be heard from 40 kilometers away, as the waters of the normally placid Zambezi river plummet over the edge of the wide basalt cliff into the magnificent gorge 100 meters below.”

https://vacationidea.com/getaways/most-beautiful-places-in-the-world.html

Now I may be totally bias, but I live in The Lake District in England and I believe it is absolutely stunning:

lakes

Reason number 8

Food

I mean this one deserves it’s own blog post, I LOVE food. 

Food is beautiful. Think about freshly baked cake and cookies, just the smell is mouth watering. Breakfast in bed, whether its a full ‘english’ breakfast or cereals and pastries (yum) there is nothing quite like breakfast in bed.

Think of all the new flavors that will probably come around in your life time, the possibilities of flavor combinations are endless. 

Reason number 9 

Singing 

I’m well aware that not everyone has the voice of an angel. Whether you sound like a bag of squealing cats or your set to be the next Beyonce. Sing! Sing when you feel sad! Sing when you feel happy! Just sing to the point where you drive people mad. It truly is good for the soul… Live for the times when your sat with friends screeching at the top of your lungs and the belly laughs that follow! 

Reason number 10 

Movies and Box-sets

This is somewhat similar to a good book. The feeling of watching a new movie that you just get your teeth into and follow from start till finish. Or when you re-watch a childhood favorite. Those box-sets you can watch over and over again (mines gossip girl). There’s no feeling quite like it. Live for that feeling. 

Reason number 11

Travel

Dependent on your individual budget you might look forward to a holiday once in a blue moon, or an annual girls holiday, you may be lucky enough to travel the world at on time or another in your life. Live for the experiences that you’ve had and the ones that are yet to come.

The personal pin maps are what dreams are made of, I’ll definitely be giving those a try when I’m rich (haha).

Reason number 12 

Fresh Laundry 

Another one of my favorite things, NO not to do the laundry! But the smell of it once its dry and ready to go. I’m always on a mission to find the nicest smelling tablets. Here’s some of my laundry on the washing line, fun! 

I’m unsure what I thought I was going to do with a fluffy dressing gown in July…

Reason 13 

YOU

By far the most important reason, live for yourself! You are amazing and beautiful and special in your own individual way. You bring so much to this world without even knowing it. Don’t think you are? Message me, I’ll tell you exactly why you are wonderful. 

UK Helpline: 116 123 (Samaritans) 

US Helpline: 0300 304 7000 (SANEline) 

Canada Helpline: 1-866-797-0000 (CMHA)

Saudi Arabia Helpline: 112 / 911 (Emergency)

Australia Helpline: 08 9381 5555 (The Samaritans, Subiaco)

China Helpline:   0800-810-1117 (Beijing Suicide Research and Prevention Center Hotline)

Argentina: +5402234930430

Austria: 017133374

Belgium: 106

Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05

Botswana: 3911270

Brazil: 212339191

Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal)

Croatia: 014833888

Denmark: +4570201201

Egypt: 7621602

Estonia: 3726558088; in Russian 3726555688

Finland: 010 195 202

France: 0145394000

Germany: 08001810771

Holland: 09000767

Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000

Hungary: 116123

India: 8888817666

Ireland: +4408457909090

Italy: 800860022

Japan: +810352869090

Mexico: 5255102550

New Zealand: 045861048

Norway: +4781533300

Philippines: 028969191

Poland: 5270000

Portugal: 21 854 07 40/8 . 96 898 21 50

Russia: 0078202577577

Spain: 914590050

South Africa: 0514445691

Sweden: 46317112400

Switzerland: 143

 

Helping yourself when you feel sad, depressed or anxious

Mental Well Being Blog

My self help guide

sad to happyIf I find myself falling into any sort of sadness, depression or prolonged period of anxiety I have a set plan in place for what I do, I don’t always do all of the stages as some work on their own. This is dependent upon my mood. I hope that my plan can be of some help to you.

~ Create goals

Step 1)

Draw yourself a table and insert two columns (I’ll insert some templates underneath). The first of which should be titled ‘past goals’ Now goals that you have already achieved can be absolutely anything, as long as they made you or others around you feel like you achieved something. When my mental health was at it’s worst my achievements could have simply been getting up and making food. So please don’t feel like any achievement is too small.

Step 2)

In the second column include your future goals. Think about where you want to be in a days time, weeks time, months time and a years time and so on and so forth.  Please try and make your goals as specific as possible, and always use positive connotations, positivity is key in this method.

Step 3)

Now explain to yourself why you want what you have wrote. So if you said that you wanted to pass your driving test, figure out why? How is it going to improve your life, perhaps it will give you more freedom?

Side note: After making this once it tends to be something you can just come back to or even add to as you go along. 


“You deserve to heal”


Step 4)

This step is all about channeling your energy (and you might be thinking when your feeling anxious, depressed or sad that you don’t have any energy- I get that). But if you have any sort of energy do something that you can start and complete that you take joy out of. Whether that is crafts, drawing, taking a walk, baking or reading a book.

Here’s my favorite chocolate cake recipe that I make when I’m feeling down:

choc cake

https://www.errenskitchen.com/devils-food-cake/

Why does setting goals help with my low mood? Well for me it was the realisation that what you need to do is entirely dependent upon where you want to get (step 2). So if I wanted to get petrol, driving to the pet shop would be pretty pointless for that goal right? But before I could believe that I could achieve a goal when I’m feeling low I needed to prove to myself that I have achieved goals in the past (step 1).  This is because when I am in this mood I have very negative thoughts and I tend to catastrophize situations. By setting goals I’m attempting to look beyond the feelings and very real emotions that I’m experiencing, I’m envisioning the future without these feelings. Explaining why I want to do something (step 3) tends to make me want to do it more. Completing something like a cake (step 4) gives me a finished product that I can look at and think even when I’m feeling this low I am capable of creating and achieving something (and I get a slice of cake also).

~ Meditate

meditate

Step 1) Find a quiet space, inside or out and get comfortable, whether that is sitting, standing or lying down.

Step 2) Breathe in, breathe out then pause.

Step 3) Breathe in and breathe out.

Step 4) You just completed your first meditation.

Okay so yes that was a very short and sweet meditation but it is exactly where I started. My mother loves to meditate, she finds it like her own little sanctuary but I never could concentrate enough. But I saw the benefits it had on my mum. So I broke it down and I started with a 10 second meditation whenever I felt I needed it. Then 1 minute, 10, 20, 30 until I just meditated for however long my body wanted.

~ Tasks that tackle your negative thoughts

glass.jpg

Do you believe in superstition? 

  1. If I break a mirror do I receive 7 years bad luck? 
  2. If I were to put a pair of new shoes on a table will I have bad luck?
  3. If I pull a funny face when the wind changes will my face really stay like that?

Stay with me with this I know it seems very unrelated. 

So if your thinking no way does your face change because of the wind and anyone who believes that is absolutely crazy. When I feel low in mood my thoughts always seem absolute. So if my head is telling me that I am never going to get better or that I am not worthy of love or friends or my anxiety comes out whilst I’m in a restaurant and I feel like everyone is watching me. When these thoughts occur I believe that they are truthful, rational and valid. What I’m trying to explain is that it never occurs to our thoughts that perhaps thinking that every person in a restaurant is looking at you is irrational and unhelpful?

Next time your experiencing a negative thought, try and stop and think does this help me, is it rational?

sheep

  1. Think about a white sheep
  2. Now stop thinking about a white sheep
  3. Think of anything but a white sheep

Difficult?

This theory highlights how difficult it is for our brains to stop a thought! If you can’t stop something negative surely the only thing is to try and change it? If I’m thinking about how my anxiety is never going to improve, I don’t try to stop this thought. I try to apply the previous theory and think is this rational, and does it help me? It doesn’t help me and it definitely isn’t rational so I change it. Instead of I’m always going to have anxiety I state that I’m currently experiencing anxiety but my future goal is that I won’t. I’ve achieved goals in the past why can’t I achieve this goal? The answer is I can and I will.

I know that this task seems hard work and like it takes a lot of energy that you might not be feeling pretty full of. But just try one step at a time, see if it helps? This won’t be the way for everybody but it helps me and I wanted to share that with others. 

~ Take care of yourself

I cannot express enough how important it is for me to look after my body. When I feel good on the outside it has a large impact upon my mental well-being. Now I’m not saying that in order to be happy you must look beautiful all the time. However, when your feeling low doing things that actively make you feel better on the outside reflect on the inside.

Have a bubbly bath, or a hot sit down shower, paint your nails, or plait your hair, put a face mask on, do your make-up. Any one of these help me, so I hope they help you to.

bubbly bath.jpg

~ Talk

The most important way of dealing with how you may feel when you are low, anxious or depressed is talking. Please find someone to talk to! It is the main reason I feel on the road to recovery because I was finally ready to talk it all out. Emotion is okay, feeling sad is okay, you’re not broken and no-one is going to judge you and if they do send them to me (haha). Whether it is your mum or dad, a teacher, colleague, friend, family member just talk.

You can contact me through this page and I promise to try get back to you as soon as physically possible.

If your not comfortable talking to anyone you know I have attached the NHS website that has numerous helplines. Here you can talk to someone you don’t know and get further help if you need it.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/

 

The best book I ever found that helped me and that contributed to a lot of my self help plan was ‘The CBT Good Habit Journal’ by Christine Wilding and Gill Hasson. It is definitely worth a buy. Below is a link to the book.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/147365789X/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1634&creative=6738&creativeASIN=147365789X&linkCode=as2&tag=elle1133-21&linkId=85b95bb6f147264f013f8b7fc170f98f


This is just my self help guide it is in no way going to be perfect for you, anxiety and depression requires help from professionals so please seek that. This is just to hopefully give you some ideas and coping methods.


Past Goals

Future Goals

~ Completed GCSE’S & ALevels

~ Learnt to drive

~ Bought my own car

~ Tidied my room

~ Raised money for charity

~ Travel

~ Complete Degree

~ Buy my first house

~ Get a Blue Staffy

~ Go for a walk

~ Eat healthily

Your mess is beautiful

Make-up, Messy people

Mess, beautiful? Yes!

On a weekly basis I am used to being moaned at for my mess, whether it is leaving a mess around the house (SORRY MUM) or “forgetting” to tidy my bedroom before my grandparents come round. What is perhaps only a weekly basis after 19 years starts to feel like I’m moaned at every day, every hour and every minute for being the ‘messiest one in the house’ of a family of five and two dogs!

So here’s why mess is beautiful:

Reason number 1: The ‘messy’ bun vs The ‘neat’ bun

First up: The ‘messy’ bun
messy bun (2)

Above is our generations beloved ‘messy’ bun the effortless way to chuck your hair up, literally some times chuck and still look like you made some sort of effort when leaving the house. This look takes mere moments to prepare for, whether you’re sporting freshly washed hair, or you skipped the shower that morning (for the last 2 days) it’ll work. It requires perhaps a bobble and a few slides.

Rate: 10/10 for its lack of prep and equipment and for the sheer easiness of the whole style.

VS: The ‘neat and tidy’ bun

neat bun (2)

It is undeniable that the second style is somewhat pretty but if we were to try and be metaphorical it would remind us of ourselves at those family parties you really just don’t want to be at: Forced and unhappy. It is the style that would most definitely compliment resting b*itch face. This scraped back look leaves no room for error as a simple hair out of place could cause disastrous consequences. Any sign of grease would be given away immediately due to the perfectness. The preparation therefore would take much longer and the equipment needed would be extensive, whether you use donuts or scrunchies, bobbles, nets, the options truly are endless…

Rate: 6/10 for the fact that less lazy people look beautiful with this perfect style.

Reason number 2: The book shelf

First up: The cluttered book storage

messiness is beautiful tooOkay, so truth be told I’ve always been a bit of a bookworm so hence the reason this comes into our messy vs tidy debate. The way I would always have 2,3 or even 4 books on the go always seemed so perfectly imperfect. Delving into different fantasies whenever I chose, the stories always seemed to be messy, the timeline would jump around from chapter to chapter and in some the narrators would change. So if our stories are messy why shouldn’t our storage of them be a little cluttered?

VS: The neat and sometimes even colour coordinated book storage

14359491_532189953655087_2116274289_nPhoto Credit- My mum.

Now okay it is safe to say that my mother’s colour-coordinated shelf of fiction and non-fiction is a work of art. My love of books was most certainly inherited by her.

Side note:  You should see our dining room now, it is a full libary of books!

So I think  I lost this fight, colour coordinated books look pretty special, and she now has them catorgorised by author and genre. But who has time for that…

Reason number 3: Make-up

The only way: Making one hell of a mess

messy make uoIn the age where we all seem to have become self professed MUA’s, I have most certainly followed this trend. I LOVE make-up, I’m always on the quest to find designer dupes from the high street for financial and investigative reasons, I’ll include some of my fave’s down below. If you were to say that your make-up process is neat and tidy you would be telling a great massive lie, creativity breeds from mess. That beautiful smokey eye your going for took 4 palettes, tape, 2 different concealers and a whole pack of wet wipes.

 

To conclude, whether your a neat or a messy person, it is okay! Neither means your better or worse than someone else, there is beauty in both. But if you’re like me and you’re creatively messy then just remember that if the ‘mess starts to clutter your brain, that’s when it’s gone too far’!

The Journey Begins

My first post

Thanks for joining me at the beginning of my journey!

I’m just a 19 year old girl trying to find where she’s meant to be in the world. Trying being the operative word. I suppose that is what led me to try out a blog. Ready to tackle my Psychology degree at Northumbria University starting in September 2018 after taking a gap year. I hope to somehow be able to help others whilst I embark on my constant journey of life. My mother always has a habit of sending me inspirational quotes so maybe I should share some of them here. Here’s to our first step…

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step”

-Lao Tzu11820477_1455701628070660_208701037_n(1)