How to love yourself

Make-up, Mental Well Being Blog

Self empowerment, self love! 

Lately I’ve been struggling to write, it’s not necessarily that I had nothing to write about, I have a notepad full of ideas… I thought about my distractions, what had I been so preoccupied with? Yeah I guess I was working a lot, and I’d been watching the World Cup and spending time with my family but these were things that had always been present? So I switched my thought process and asked myself what had I been focusing on and it seemed that Social Media had been taking the majority of my time. I’d been so actively trying to work on my brand and the overall look of my media that I’d fallen into the spiral of perfection. I wanted my profiles to look like I was perfect, that my life was perfect and most importantly that the brand I’m working on was. But in doing this I’d lost the one thing that always made me the happiest, writing? 

So what had gone wrong?

Here’s a few posts when I was trying to improve my look on social media (rose-tinted glasses): 

Here’s a few posts when I just showed me, what my life was really like:

Here I am explaining my anxious thoughts whilst taking a cute selfie…

The I’m outside, reading and writing aren’t I great book

The ‘perfect’ bloggers bedroom- A place for creativity 

mememe

No filter, no bra. Ft Stretch marks and thick thighs

The interactions were significantly different.
Comments:

Perfect: 1

Real: 10

Likes:

Perfect: 57

Real: 116

What I realised was that people appreciate realness, the rawness and honesty that I brought when I admitted that I was curvy, considered a plus sized model in the fashion industry, the fact that I struggled with mental-health problems it didn’t faze people. They seemed to like it more. 


☁️ Social media portrays such perfection, this portrayal is so wrong. Your life, family, friends and yourself the imperfections within them is normal and most importantly quite unique. Those large thighs carry me, the belly that’s not quite perfectly flat is sort of cute and the stretch marks you see they show my journey, how my body marvelously stretched to allow me to become a woman. You’re beautiful. You’re imperfections are beautiful. Be proud, be strong, love yourself ☁️” – @Ellesorbis 


For what I hope to be inspirational and lovely realistic posts follow my social media:

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

After the realisation that my followers and likers responded better to my ‘real’ posts I decided to delve further into this idea what did my posts have in common… they were all about my ‘imperfections’. Whether I was discussing my curvyness or my break outs, the fact that I was struggling to sleep because of the insomnia these posts were all interacted with greatly. I asked myself why? This highlighted to me that the people finding my pictures were using the hashtags I used to target the correct audience and this showed that people were actively looking for ways to accept themselves. Immediately I asked myself why on earth I hadn’t done a blOog post about this! 

I never claim to have the answers for everyone, I don’t even know if one of them will relate to you, these are my ways. I can only hope that they touch a life, or give someone that little push they need. 

My three step guide to loving yourself

  1. Accept your body

Now some people may say to you, it doesn’t matter how you look on the outside, it’s all about the inside. This is so true! Weight and looks do not define your happiness, or your love for yourself. Accepting my body is something I have always struggled with. I was a size 10 and thought I was disgustingly fat, I have been a size 16 and still thought the same. So really what changed? Other than three dress sizes my mental state and how I felt about my self really never changed. My point here is it really didn’t matter what my body looked like, what was going on in the inside took over and blurred my vision. Accept your body, as long as you are healthy that is all that matters. What waist to bum ratio society expects from you is so irrelevant! My weight gain shows that, my depression and anxiety has been just the same with the different dress sizes. 

These pictures are 4 years apart, throughout this 5 years I have suffered equally, the body I’m in doesn’t define my mental state when I’m healthy.  Love yourself, love your body- it can only help.

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2. Look after yourself

When I’m feeling low or I’m not particularly loving myself I have a routine that I tend to do. I’m sure everybody has there own self-care regimes. But I thought if I share mine that perhaps it could assist the developing or finished product you may have: 

I cannot express enough how important it is for me to look after my body. When I feel good on the outside it has a large impact upon my mental well-being. Now I’m not saying that in order to be happy you must look beautiful all the time. However, when your feeling low doing things that actively make you feel better on the outside reflect on the inside.

  • Have a bubbly bath: Just allow yourself to enjoy the water around you, the warmth, the bubbles let them soak you up. I like to grab a favorite book that I’ve already read so that I can enjoy the act of reading whilst not having to focus too much.

 

https://amzn.to/2meBI7aRadox

  • Have a hot shower to wash hair and body: For this I use my favorite products which I don’t use everyday but that I know will leave my hair smelling beautiful and the look will be fuller.

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  • Practice make-up looks: I’ve discussed before how much I love my dupes both for my bank account and the fun of comparing them to the real thing on YouTube. Here’s some of my make-up collection. I get so distracted doing this and it makes me feel great when I achieve a beautiful look. 

make pu.jpg

 

3. Treat yourself like you’re the love of your life

You are the single most important person in your life. Remember if you put yourself and your well being first you’ll be able to treat your nearest and dearest much better. I try and treat myself the way I would treat the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. 

Would you constantly beat down the love of your life?

NO because they are too important and you want the best for them. 

Would you lack confidence in the love of your life?

NO because they are brilliant and you have every confidence in them

Would you see them as anything other than beautiful?

NEVER.

Would you make time for them?

Of course, they mean everything to you right?

Would you do the things that they love to do?

Absolutely that’s what you do for someone you love.

Would you show them support in every aspect of their life?

Yes. 

Treat yourself like the person you love the most. Don’t beat yourself down, don’t lack confidence in yourself, look at yourself and see your beauty whatever form that may come in, make time for you- it’s so important, do what you love and support yourself through everything. 

 

 

 

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Your mess is beautiful

Make-up, Messy people

Mess, beautiful? Yes!

On a weekly basis I am used to being moaned at for my mess, whether it is leaving a mess around the house (SORRY MUM) or “forgetting” to tidy my bedroom before my grandparents come round. What is perhaps only a weekly basis after 19 years starts to feel like I’m moaned at every day, every hour and every minute for being the ‘messiest one in the house’ of a family of five and two dogs!

So here’s why mess is beautiful:

Reason number 1: The ‘messy’ bun vs The ‘neat’ bun

First up: The ‘messy’ bun
messy bun (2)

Above is our generations beloved ‘messy’ bun the effortless way to chuck your hair up, literally some times chuck and still look like you made some sort of effort when leaving the house. This look takes mere moments to prepare for, whether you’re sporting freshly washed hair, or you skipped the shower that morning (for the last 2 days) it’ll work. It requires perhaps a bobble and a few slides.

Rate: 10/10 for its lack of prep and equipment and for the sheer easiness of the whole style.

VS: The ‘neat and tidy’ bun

neat bun (2)

It is undeniable that the second style is somewhat pretty but if we were to try and be metaphorical it would remind us of ourselves at those family parties you really just don’t want to be at: Forced and unhappy. It is the style that would most definitely compliment resting b*itch face. This scraped back look leaves no room for error as a simple hair out of place could cause disastrous consequences. Any sign of grease would be given away immediately due to the perfectness. The preparation therefore would take much longer and the equipment needed would be extensive, whether you use donuts or scrunchies, bobbles, nets, the options truly are endless…

Rate: 6/10 for the fact that less lazy people look beautiful with this perfect style.

Reason number 2: The book shelf

First up: The cluttered book storage

messiness is beautiful tooOkay, so truth be told I’ve always been a bit of a bookworm so hence the reason this comes into our messy vs tidy debate. The way I would always have 2,3 or even 4 books on the go always seemed so perfectly imperfect. Delving into different fantasies whenever I chose, the stories always seemed to be messy, the timeline would jump around from chapter to chapter and in some the narrators would change. So if our stories are messy why shouldn’t our storage of them be a little cluttered?

VS: The neat and sometimes even colour coordinated book storage

14359491_532189953655087_2116274289_nPhoto Credit- My mum.

Now okay it is safe to say that my mother’s colour-coordinated shelf of fiction and non-fiction is a work of art. My love of books was most certainly inherited by her.

Side note:  You should see our dining room now, it is a full libary of books!

So I think  I lost this fight, colour coordinated books look pretty special, and she now has them catorgorised by author and genre. But who has time for that…

Reason number 3: Make-up

The only way: Making one hell of a mess

messy make uoIn the age where we all seem to have become self professed MUA’s, I have most certainly followed this trend. I LOVE make-up, I’m always on the quest to find designer dupes from the high street for financial and investigative reasons, I’ll include some of my fave’s down below. If you were to say that your make-up process is neat and tidy you would be telling a great massive lie, creativity breeds from mess. That beautiful smokey eye your going for took 4 palettes, tape, 2 different concealers and a whole pack of wet wipes.

 

To conclude, whether your a neat or a messy person, it is okay! Neither means your better or worse than someone else, there is beauty in both. But if you’re like me and you’re creatively messy then just remember that if the ‘mess starts to clutter your brain, that’s when it’s gone too far’!