Self empowerment, self love!
Lately I’ve been struggling to write, it’s not necessarily that I had nothing to write about, I have a notepad full of ideas… I thought about my distractions, what had I been so preoccupied with? Yeah I guess I was working a lot, and I’d been watching the World Cup and spending time with my family but these were things that had always been present? So I switched my thought process and asked myself what had I been focusing on and it seemed that Social Media had been taking the majority of my time. I’d been so actively trying to work on my brand and the overall look of my media that I’d fallen into the spiral of perfection. I wanted my profiles to look like I was perfect, that my life was perfect and most importantly that the brand I’m working on was. But in doing this I’d lost the one thing that always made me the happiest, writing?
So what had gone wrong?
Here’s a few posts when I was trying to improve my look on social media (rose-tinted glasses):
Here’s a few posts when I just showed me, what my life was really like:
The interactions were significantly different.
What I realised was that people appreciate realness, the rawness and honesty that I brought when I admitted that I was curvy, considered a plus sized model in the fashion industry, the fact that I struggled with mental-health problems it didn’t faze people. They seemed to like it more.
“ Social media portrays such perfection, this portrayal is so wrong. Your life, family, friends and yourself the imperfections within them is normal and most importantly quite unique. Those large thighs carry me, the belly that’s not quite perfectly flat is sort of cute and the stretch marks you see they show my journey, how my body marvelously stretched to allow me to become a woman. You’re beautiful. You’re imperfections are beautiful. Be proud, be strong, love yourself ” – @Ellesorbis
For what I hope to be inspirational and lovely realistic posts follow my social media:
After the realisation that my followers and likers responded better to my ‘real’ posts I decided to delve further into this idea what did my posts have in common… they were all about my ‘imperfections’. Whether I was discussing my curvyness or my break outs, the fact that I was struggling to sleep because of the insomnia these posts were all interacted with greatly. I asked myself why? This highlighted to me that the people finding my pictures were using the hashtags I used to target the correct audience and this showed that people were actively looking for ways to accept themselves. Immediately I asked myself why on earth I hadn’t done a blOog post about this!
I never claim to have the answers for everyone, I don’t even know if one of them will relate to you, these are my ways. I can only hope that they touch a life, or give someone that little push they need.
My three step guide to loving yourself
- Accept your body
Now some people may say to you, it doesn’t matter how you look on the outside, it’s all about the inside. This is so true! Weight and looks do not define your happiness, or your love for yourself. Accepting my body is something I have always struggled with. I was a size 10 and thought I was disgustingly fat, I have been a size 16 and still thought the same. So really what changed? Other than three dress sizes my mental state and how I felt about my self really never changed. My point here is it really didn’t matter what my body looked like, what was going on in the inside took over and blurred my vision. Accept your body, as long as you are healthy that is all that matters. What waist to bum ratio society expects from you is so irrelevant! My weight gain shows that, my depression and anxiety has been just the same with the different dress sizes.
These pictures are 4 years apart, throughout this 5 years I have suffered equally, the body I’m in doesn’t define my mental state when I’m healthy. Love yourself, love your body- it can only help.
2. Look after yourself
When I’m feeling low or I’m not particularly loving myself I have a routine that I tend to do. I’m sure everybody has there own self-care regimes. But I thought if I share mine that perhaps it could assist the developing or finished product you may have:
I cannot express enough how important it is for me to look after my body. When I feel good on the outside it has a large impact upon my mental well-being. Now I’m not saying that in order to be happy you must look beautiful all the time. However, when your feeling low doing things that actively make you feel better on the outside reflect on the inside.
- Have a bubbly bath: Just allow yourself to enjoy the water around you, the warmth, the bubbles let them soak you up. I like to grab a favorite book that I’ve already read so that I can enjoy the act of reading whilst not having to focus too much.
- Have a hot shower to wash hair and body: For this I use my favorite products which I don’t use everyday but that I know will leave my hair smelling beautiful and the look will be fuller.
- Practice make-up looks: I’ve discussed before how much I love my dupes both for my bank account and the fun of comparing them to the real thing on YouTube. Here’s some of my make-up collection. I get so distracted doing this and it makes me feel great when I achieve a beautiful look.
3. Treat yourself like you’re the love of your life
You are the single most important person in your life. Remember if you put yourself and your well being first you’ll be able to treat your nearest and dearest much better. I try and treat myself the way I would treat the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
Would you constantly beat down the love of your life?
NO because they are too important and you want the best for them.
Would you lack confidence in the love of your life?
NO because they are brilliant and you have every confidence in them
Would you see them as anything other than beautiful?
Would you make time for them?
Of course, they mean everything to you right?
Would you do the things that they love to do?
Absolutely that’s what you do for someone you love.
Would you show them support in every aspect of their life?
Treat yourself like the person you love the most. Don’t beat yourself down, don’t lack confidence in yourself, look at yourself and see your beauty whatever form that may come in, make time for you- it’s so important, do what you love and support yourself through everything.