How to love yourself

Make-up, Mental Well Being Blog

Self empowerment, self love! 

Lately I’ve been struggling to write, it’s not necessarily that I had nothing to write about, I have a notepad full of ideas… I thought about my distractions, what had I been so preoccupied with? Yeah I guess I was working a lot, and I’d been watching the World Cup and spending time with my family but these were things that had always been present? So I switched my thought process and asked myself what had I been focusing on and it seemed that Social Media had been taking the majority of my time. I’d been so actively trying to work on my brand and the overall look of my media that I’d fallen into the spiral of perfection. I wanted my profiles to look like I was perfect, that my life was perfect and most importantly that the brand I’m working on was. But in doing this I’d lost the one thing that always made me the happiest, writing? 

So what had gone wrong?

Here’s a few posts when I was trying to improve my look on social media (rose-tinted glasses): 

Here’s a few posts when I just showed me, what my life was really like:

Here I am explaining my anxious thoughts whilst taking a cute selfie…

The I’m outside, reading and writing aren’t I great book

The ‘perfect’ bloggers bedroom- A place for creativity 

mememe

No filter, no bra. Ft Stretch marks and thick thighs

The interactions were significantly different.
Comments:

Perfect: 1

Real: 10

Likes:

Perfect: 57

Real: 116

What I realised was that people appreciate realness, the rawness and honesty that I brought when I admitted that I was curvy, considered a plus sized model in the fashion industry, the fact that I struggled with mental-health problems it didn’t faze people. They seemed to like it more. 


☁️ Social media portrays such perfection, this portrayal is so wrong. Your life, family, friends and yourself the imperfections within them is normal and most importantly quite unique. Those large thighs carry me, the belly that’s not quite perfectly flat is sort of cute and the stretch marks you see they show my journey, how my body marvelously stretched to allow me to become a woman. You’re beautiful. You’re imperfections are beautiful. Be proud, be strong, love yourself ☁️” – @Ellesorbis 


For what I hope to be inspirational and lovely realistic posts follow my social media:

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

After the realisation that my followers and likers responded better to my ‘real’ posts I decided to delve further into this idea what did my posts have in common… they were all about my ‘imperfections’. Whether I was discussing my curvyness or my break outs, the fact that I was struggling to sleep because of the insomnia these posts were all interacted with greatly. I asked myself why? This highlighted to me that the people finding my pictures were using the hashtags I used to target the correct audience and this showed that people were actively looking for ways to accept themselves. Immediately I asked myself why on earth I hadn’t done a blOog post about this! 

I never claim to have the answers for everyone, I don’t even know if one of them will relate to you, these are my ways. I can only hope that they touch a life, or give someone that little push they need. 

My three step guide to loving yourself

  1. Accept your body

Now some people may say to you, it doesn’t matter how you look on the outside, it’s all about the inside. This is so true! Weight and looks do not define your happiness, or your love for yourself. Accepting my body is something I have always struggled with. I was a size 10 and thought I was disgustingly fat, I have been a size 16 and still thought the same. So really what changed? Other than three dress sizes my mental state and how I felt about my self really never changed. My point here is it really didn’t matter what my body looked like, what was going on in the inside took over and blurred my vision. Accept your body, as long as you are healthy that is all that matters. What waist to bum ratio society expects from you is so irrelevant! My weight gain shows that, my depression and anxiety has been just the same with the different dress sizes. 

These pictures are 4 years apart, throughout this 5 years I have suffered equally, the body I’m in doesn’t define my mental state when I’m healthy.  Love yourself, love your body- it can only help.

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2. Look after yourself

When I’m feeling low or I’m not particularly loving myself I have a routine that I tend to do. I’m sure everybody has there own self-care regimes. But I thought if I share mine that perhaps it could assist the developing or finished product you may have: 

I cannot express enough how important it is for me to look after my body. When I feel good on the outside it has a large impact upon my mental well-being. Now I’m not saying that in order to be happy you must look beautiful all the time. However, when your feeling low doing things that actively make you feel better on the outside reflect on the inside.

  • Have a bubbly bath: Just allow yourself to enjoy the water around you, the warmth, the bubbles let them soak you up. I like to grab a favorite book that I’ve already read so that I can enjoy the act of reading whilst not having to focus too much.

 

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  • Have a hot shower to wash hair and body: For this I use my favorite products which I don’t use everyday but that I know will leave my hair smelling beautiful and the look will be fuller.

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  • Practice make-up looks: I’ve discussed before how much I love my dupes both for my bank account and the fun of comparing them to the real thing on YouTube. Here’s some of my make-up collection. I get so distracted doing this and it makes me feel great when I achieve a beautiful look. 

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3. Treat yourself like you’re the love of your life

You are the single most important person in your life. Remember if you put yourself and your well being first you’ll be able to treat your nearest and dearest much better. I try and treat myself the way I would treat the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. 

Would you constantly beat down the love of your life?

NO because they are too important and you want the best for them. 

Would you lack confidence in the love of your life?

NO because they are brilliant and you have every confidence in them

Would you see them as anything other than beautiful?

NEVER.

Would you make time for them?

Of course, they mean everything to you right?

Would you do the things that they love to do?

Absolutely that’s what you do for someone you love.

Would you show them support in every aspect of their life?

Yes. 

Treat yourself like the person you love the most. Don’t beat yourself down, don’t lack confidence in yourself, look at yourself and see your beauty whatever form that may come in, make time for you- it’s so important, do what you love and support yourself through everything. 

 

 

 

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Guest Blog- Reading is good for the soul…

Mental Well Being Blog, Reading

Meet your guest blogger: 

Hazel

Your guest blogger this week is Hazel. Hazel is an inspirational woman and therefore has been asked to write a blog about reading and how this impacts positively on mental health. She is a teacher in an EBD school, last year she did missionary work in Zambia and also manages to juggle a family of five and two dogs! She loves photography and uses her personal instagram to express this, see link below: 

https://www.instagram.com/cumbrianpurplehaze/

Reading Is Good For The Soul

When I was asked to write a blog with regards to my favourite pastime ‘reading’ I was instantly thrilled, this was very soon followed by that fearsome fiend ‘anxiety’. Questions began circulating my mind: ‘what will I say’, ‘will anyone really want to read it’, ‘am I too old for all this blogging shiz’ and ‘what if someone leaves a negative comment’ and so on and so forth. However, I managed to quell these unwanted thoughts and instead replaced them with images of my amazing daughter, who despite having had (purposely written in the past tense) huge obstacles to overcome is absolutely bossing it, it being life. So instead of shrinking away from this, I will now share with you some of my favourite books and how they have impacted on my personal growth.

“Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body”- Richard Steele 

I love this quote, I’m not one for exercising but can often be found with my head buried deep in a book. Being able to shut out the world and delve into a wonderfully written piece of fiction has got me through some dark days.

~ Broadening my thinking with fiction

My favourite author is an American fiction write called Jodi Picoult. She writes about different societal issues, usually result in a moral versus legal dilemma. Some of the issues she has tacked are teenage suicide, racism, rape, childhood cancer, school shootings and murder. Prior to reading her work these situations seemed very black and white. But after reading her books, often told from numerous characters points of view I am left understanding that there truly is a whole load of murky grey and that the distinction between right and wrong is incredibly difficult to define.

Her work makes me think and question the status quo, she has made me realise that the world and all its inhabitants are gloriously crazy and complex.

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Fave Quote: “that’s the paradox of loss. How can something that’s gone weigh us down so much”- The Storyteller, Jodi Picoult. 

Fave Book: Small, great things. 

~ Channeling my inner child 

My inner child (because we all need to channel that little beauty occasionally) simply adores all things Harry Potter.
As a child I loved Enid Blyton’s work, imagining myself at Malory Towers or on an adventure with the Famous Five.

For me the concept of Harry Potter is that of a modern day Enid Blyton story.
Within those pages you will be taken on a magical, mysterious adventure, you will grow to love the characters, you will join in the fight of good over evil, you will cry and laugh, your imagination will get a fab run out and you will wanted to be one of Harry, Ron and Hermione’s friends. An excellent form of total escapism for me, just what the doctor ordered!

Fave Quote: “You’re a wizard Harry”

Fave Book: The Philosophers Stone

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~ Self help and religion 

There are thousands of books out there that claim to be able to ‘change your life’. At the tender age of 41 I’m yet to find this one special book. This is not to say that this particular genre does not have anything to offer, but for me it is more about broadening my reading and gaining lots of different perspectives.

Whilst I am not a practicing Christian it is hard to not recognise that the ten commandments offer some pretty good rules and morals to live by. Nor I am a Buddhist but their Five Moral Precepts offer a kind and compassionate ideology. Read them all, devour them and take what resonates with you and hold it in your heart.

I do enjoy a good ‘self-help’ book and usually sit with a pen and notepad whilst reading them so that I can sort out the total twaddle from the powerful words. This way I can come back to these words when I need them the most.

Fave quote: “You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with” Wayne Dyer

Fave book: You can heal your life, Louise Hay 

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Perhaps my book blog was not what you were expecting- I didn’t waffle on about the great classics (which I do also enjoy- my faves are To Kill a Mocking Bird and 1984) but instead I chose to be completely honest with you. I’m no book snob- I like what I like. In fact my favourite book of all time is Marley and Me.

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Love Hazel xx

Oh yeah this amazing lady is also my mum…

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If you’d be interested in guest blogging contact me below: